The Isaac Conspiracy

Take a trip over to Mr. Isaac Molethu's Letterboxd. Go ahead, take a good long look at it. At first blush it is hard to notice anything out of the ordinary, but under close examination, the cracks start to form.

I know what you're thinking, "What? How could this be? The Lost City is boring romantic slop that attempts to exploit the female gaze, while Dog is heartwarming, funny and subversive!" Good observation. This is a serious blunder on Molethu's part, but people are allowed mistakes. A simple lapse of judgement from time to time is to be expected, surely this is not a pattern of behavior!

THINK AGAIN

Molethu peddling garbage to unsuspecting Letterboxd users
Molethu slanders quality cinema. Also notice how he reviewed a movie before it was over while in the cinema, disturbing filmgoers. Typical
Isaac being a bastard

Many would look at these objectively false opinions and assume Molethu is a dullard of some sorts. Sadly, to make that assumption is to play right into Isaac's hand. While his real goal is to mislead the public and direct their money into his bank account (more on that later), he would love nothing more than his critics to be docile little unsuspecting sheep. You see, Isaac is no idiot, every move he makes is calculated. If your are to look at the Wikipedia pages for the movies Isaac showers with false praise, an interesting pattern emerges...

Notice how Isaac just happens to benefit from the success of these terrible movies. Clearly not a coincidence, but if you need more convincing, take a gander at the movies Isaac slanders.

A blind man could see through such tomfoolery! It is clear that Isaac Molethu is manipulating the Letterboxd score of his own films and the good and wholesome films of Hoenisch International to his own petty gain! But a man of such intense bias must have a history of malcontent and no-do-goodery. You are starting to catch on, humble reader.

Let us for a moment compare Isaac Molethu to another man. Since Isaac seems bent of the destruction of Hoenisch International for some reason, let us use CEO Joe Hoenisch as a foil.

I've been working on this for about a month now and Google Sites lack of customization options is really starting to piss me off so I'm going to leave you on this thought dear reader, how is life? Because it can get much worse if HE has anything to say about it.

STOP THIS MAN BEFORE HE STOPS YOU

Research funded in part by Hoenisch International